BLOW YOUR TRUMPET

The first week i started blogging a friend checked out the blog, read my profile and said i had hyped myself in the profile. But all that was true; i have a sometimes annoyingly(to certain people) unfailing sense of humour, I'm always writing somehow, music is as essential as oxygen etc. Not saying i don't have faults or imperfections or bad habits. I always choose to talk about my strenghts before my weaknesses, only those who are closest to me know areas that I'm truly struggling with.



Too often, we get self confidence confused with arrogance and self esteem with pride. Each however, though not mutually exclusive personality traits, are independent of one another. The Oxford dictionary defines self esteem as "a feeling of being happy with your own character and abilities"; self confidence as "a feeling of trust in one's own abilities, quality and judgement"; arrogance as "having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities"



I discovered that pride, arrogance or cockiness are merely self esteem and self confidence taken too far. Doesn't mean you shouldn't have the last two! Its a fact that too much of anything is never a good idea anyway. Finding the right balance is what must be done. You can be confident without being arrogant, you can have the right amount of self esteem without being overly proud (notice i said "overly" proud, pride is not necessarily the opposite of humility. but that's a topic for another time)
Whenever i say to people i can never do this or i can never be caught dead doing that, they often think i am being snobbish or pompous, but its just the truth. I will never accept certain things from people simply because i know what i am worth, that's self esteem. Its not pride.



 There's this really cool thing i saw, where a lion said "no matter the situation of the jungle i can never eat grass. Its not pride its simply who I am". ITS A FACT. Lions do not eat grass. Whenever people state certain facts about themselves we immediately say they are too proud, that they think they are all that! But that may be true, they could be all that. Its like Kaffy, in an attempt to be humble tells you she cant dance. Now that wouldn't be humility, it would be lying. I don't know how much she gets paid to dance in those music videos, but I'm sure she would be paid less if she went around telling people she can't dance.



 Humility is knowing that even though you might be "all that", its still leaving a margin for people to be pleasantly surprised when you perform, not pretending to be unable to perform.
In my opinion, we take humility too far. Picture this, you have a PhD in medicine, for instance, and then someone tells you they have a job offer for you, would it be pride to state the fact that you have that degree? NO. Its merely stating a fact.


When writing your Resume or CV, what do you write, your strengths or weaknesses?
 Pastor Taffy Adelanwa said something yesterday that struck a chord in me, she said "we are tested everyday at all times" so why not perform the same way you would in a test. You write with your best pen, your handwriting is better than ever, your grammatical constructions are near perfect. Bring out your best side, its like taking a picture, even if its a passport, you want to show your most flattering features.


I'm very picky with the people who touch my hair, how much more people who style it. The person i trust most with my hair has been my stylist for about 7 or 8 years. The thing i love most about him, is his confidence, he is so sure he can pull off anything and he does. He tells me the only reason he will be unable to make a particular style is either because he chooses not to or he does not have the right equipment.



I don't know why people expect us to be less than positive about our perceptions of ourselves as human beings. I'm sure by now we know that the words we speak can change our very existence, so why not apply that to what we say about ourselves. Its really not everyone's place to know your faults, that's between you and your mentors . . . .



Confidence looks good on anyone.
You must first believe in yourself to get the crowd to believe in you too. If you always walk around with your head bowed, talking about yourself in less than glowing terms, then you need to change that, let people know who you are, what you are capable of etc etc. Build an image first in your mind, then start to build it in others with the things you say about yourself. We all have something special and unique, if you know how to act or sing, or draw . . . whatever, tell people, you don't know if that person knows somebody who knows somebody that could help you. Because really, if you don't blow your trumpet, who will blow it for you?


As much as you need to "walk that walk", you also need to "talk that talk".