NEGATIVE ENERGY

"A complainer is like a Death-Eater, there is a suction on negative energy" Barbara Corcoran

If you are wondering who Death-Eater's are, you are one of those people who don't watch movies... You are beyond my reach... I can offer no assistance

Death Eaters are bad enough, Dementors are on another level....

here's how Lipin described them to Harry "Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."

I dare say Dementors are possibly the scariest creatures ever, after my first "contact" with them, I didn't sleep too well for a little while, and from someone like me who prides herself in being able to watch horror movies without flinching.... that says a lot.


Far as I can tell, negative people are the closest to Dementors, only difference is that they don't "feed off human happiness" and don't seem to be essentially evil....

Ok Ok. Don't crucify me, comparing anyone to a Dementor may be taking it to the extreme, I just saw a lot of similarities in them!

There's enough negativity from one person alone without allowing others the opportunity of adding to it.

I'm mostly an optimist but I have random bursts of pessimism. Days when I can clearly see the sun in the morning but I'm convinced it will rain and so I don't do any laundry, days when even though I've done well in an exam, I manage to convince myself the lecturer is just evil and so the results won't reflect my hard work.....

Now imagine, someone echoing your negative thoughts, increasing scenarios of how everything will go wrong, assuring you that nothing good will happen...

Truth is, these people usually don't mean anything by it and they are just expressing their honest opinions from their perspective.... It becomes your choice whether or not you want to allow them take up space in your mind with their negative words.


I know some people who have the worst imaginations ever... If you let your guard down for a minute, your thoughts will be invaded by their negative words. Some girls are absolutely convinced that all men are unfaithful, can't be trusted, have no heart.... And some guys have the same feelings about women. If you hang around them long enough you will believe them. They have stories of how sososo's wife cheated on him and how he really wasn't the father of her two kids, of how Mrs Somebody's husband left her for her own cousin after four children and even booted them out of the house.

How about those people who are so disillusioned on the issue of wealth and prosperity, they see a car (I'm not talking just about a good or acceptable car. I'm talking "perfect will" kind) and they either say the person is a "yahoo yahoo boy", "a ritualist" or "a corrupt politician". Apparently these ones don't believe you can have a good job or business that pays in the millions, they have never heard of multinational companies where some top level employees earn as much as 50million per annum!


"Anyone that's negative shouldn't be a part of your life. Fill your life with people who can be positive and uplift you, people who have good positive energy".


Let's be realistic, there is no way you can completely separate yourself from some of these negative people, they share your office space, they are your siblings who live in the same house with you, could even be your parents... So do you cut them off completely?

I don't think so, I do one of two things, I change the topic or walk away. I can't begin to count how many times I've said .... "Anyway" (that usually means enough of that topic, I'm no longer interested, moving on!) the minute I no longer feel "edified" when conversing with a person.

Have you ever been in a bus, on a one hour journey and all the passengers seem to have made a pact to moan about all that's wrong with the country.... If you allow yourself to listen and digest all that negativity, you end up feeling bad or upset, let down and disillusioned... Major shout out to the inventor of the ear piece/headset, in the words of Chris Brown " turn up the music, turn it up louder" or read a book. Do whatever it takes to shut your mind from all that negativity.

Negativity steals happiness, it takes the sunshine and replaces it with dark clouds.....

Protect your happiness at all costs, guard against people who have a negative influence on your life!

Have a wonderful day!

ALL IN THE MIND

I woke up this morning extremely hungry so forgive me if I'm not too coherent. I'm not one of those super people who can function on an empty stomach....

First, I'd like to recommend Muyiwa Ademola's radio program, its a program that I'd encourage everyone to listen to, I just got on that train myself and so far its made my mornings infinitely more inspiring leading to a more productive day.

I know a young lady who is no doubt good looking but in my opinion she's not the tastiest looking cookie in the jar. However, there is no way you can convince her that there is anyone more beautiful, if you tell her your girlfriend is pretty, she'll be quick to assure you that she's prettier. Tell her about a cute girl you saw, she'll tell you she's cuter.

I used to just roll my eyes and release a deep sigh whenever she would go and on about how gorgeous she was but I realize that that was her reality and it did work for her. There is an instance I will never forget, we were all dressed up to go out one day and by all standards she was the worst dressed, I can't even begin to go into how bad .... On a scale of one to ten, I'd give it a minus three

So we arrived at our destination, and as usual I found the darkest corner, folded my arms to "observe". Before my very eyes I saw guy after guy after guy walk up to this girl and those that didn't have the spine to do so all had eyes on her... What?!

Years later it dawned on me that what your mind believes, becomes the reality. It might take a minute but it will eventually translate to what can be seen by everyone. Simply because she was convinced then there was a manifestation.

I've always wondered why anytime I made a specific hairstyle or decided to buy a new gadget, I'd start seeing it everywhere by the dozens. Some weeks ago, there was a wedding in my old neighborhood and the "aso ebi" was purple and suddenly it appeared everyone I saw that day was wearing purple, I thought it was just me till my friend commented on it.


The mind is an extremely powerful tool, use it. The Good book says ".... transform yourself by the renewing of you mind..." Decide what you want as your reality and watch it happen!

The mind is everything, what you think you become" - Buddha

Start convincing yourself that you are successful, confident, good looking, smart... And it will manifest!

Have yourselves a blessed weekend!

May Your Life Be Full

Yesterday I received news of the death of one of Nigeria's biggest make up artist, Adenike Ogungbe, AKA Ewar... I had never met her in person but we had correspondence via email and we had a mutual close contact. I was heartbroken, the circumstances that led to her death had goose bumps breaking out all over my skin. She died after childbirth. Apparently she had been trying for a while to have a baby and just when she did.... I have no doubt that for her family and friends, this must be bittersweet news.

Her life was short by many standards (she was only 32)  but it was full and that's what counts. She touched lives, was a giver, went places, met people, left a legacy and now a child... a piece of her. May her soul rest in peace.  Condolences to her family and friends, may the good Lord grant you the fortitude to bear the loss.

I'm always forced to sit and take a look at my life when I hear of the death of any person, especially one whose life was full. Life is short, even if you live to be a hundred, its still short. There will always be things to do, places to go, experiences to suffer or enjoy.... its best to cram in as much as you can with the little time we have.

I spend too much time indoors, though I have a great love for the outdoors so I'm set to remedy that, I'd hate to flash back over my life and find I spent all my time planning to do things rather than do them.

I hope I get to go mountain climbing one day (hopefully before I'm seventy) although I never want to go bungee jumping.

 As much as I can be, I'm gonna be spontaneous, and just do it! In light of this, I'm off to catch a movie today, Man of Steel maybe.

And since I like languages so much, I start chinese classes in a few weeks. Yaay me!

I dare you to live a full life, not just with the usual stuff but to have new experiences and try new things. I'll never forget the first time I went to a chinese restaurant, needless to say it was an interesting experience!

Yěxǔ nǐ de shēnghuó chōngmǎn!

WHY SO SERIOUS? (LOVE YOURSELF SERIES)

Laughter is a reflection of not only happiness but of joy. Its been scientifically proven that it reduces the chances of cardiac arrest and some other medical conditions.
It is one of the cheapest drugs available and I'm proud to say I'm an addict. In the words of Lord Byron, "Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine"

Most people take themselves way too seriously to laugh, they are constantly frowning, constantly bitter, always upset....

Its important to find humor in even the craziest of situations especially when they are temporal.

Being the extremely clumsy klutz that I am, some months ago, I was in a bus(my porshe panamera hasn't arrived) and as I was about to step out, I felt something pull on my best linen pants, I just knew it was torn. I had a feeling a little bit of my backside would be hanging out... And it was! I kept grinning like a fool, cos there was nothing to do about it. I got home and ended up laughing about it with my folks,I'm laughing right now.

I did say that was my favorite pair of pants, so I haven't thrown it away even though I know I'll never wear it again.

"To truly laugh you must be able to take your pain and play with it" Charlie Chaplin

 "If you can't make it better, laugh at it" Emma Bombeck. 

So, anytime I look at it, I start laughing all over again at how I must have flashed a small population of lagos...

I'm forever laughing at myself, the fact that I left home with blush only on one side of my face, or I got to class and apparently my hair was pointing in six different directions.... Besides I heard that if you can't laugh at yourself, you aren't allowed to laugh at others! And boy do I like to laugh at people,if you spend a week with me and my family, you are likely to come to one of two conclusions; that we are the happiest bunch of people or we are all clinically insane?!

Feel free to laugh at yourself as often as you can, no one will charge you a dime. Being overly self conscious gets you frustrated, anxious, worried and regretful; not to talk of boring and a sourpuss, life is too short so let yourself go, see the funny in situations, smile, giggle, laugh, then do it again... Its an expression of happiness, and when you are confident enough to laugh at yourself its an expression of self love!
"Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously."

And if you find you can't laugh at yourself, call me, (you know me now) I'll laugh at you for you! Have a funny day people!
I'd really like to know some of the funniest things you've done or that have happened to you. So leave a comment.
And big shout out to Tejiri Okene, one of the funniest girls I know, she thinks it no robbery to laugh at other people as much as she laughs at herself! Love Love Love

(LOVE YOURSELF SERIES) BEING AVERAGE

I decided to write this series because I have come to understand that loving yourself is the first step in the pursuit of "happyness". you can never be truly happy if you don't love the person you are.... quirks and all.

Being Average

I can see some faces all scrunched up right now.... The mere mention of the word average gets spines straightened and folks sit up! I'm sure someone out there's mantra is "Average is the enemy"

Being a middle child is hard.... Being the middle child with four siblings is harder... Being the middle child who isn't the only, first or last boy or girl.... well, that just sucks! It appears you are doomed to being unexceptional just by virtue of your position in the family (ask me, I know)


But is everything average so bad? Let's be clear, I'm not saying don't aim for excellence or don't aim for the best... I'm all for that, one of my motto's (I have a lot of them) is "I manifest the spirit of Excellence"! So yea!


There are different definitions of avrage, but today I think I'm gonna stick with the Merriam Webster definition. In math, average means " a single value, (mean, mode or median) that summarizes or represents the general significance of a set of unequal values!" That doesn't sound so bad right!


Now think about it, how many times have you described a person as average .... Oh Mr John Doe is not fat, he's not skinny either... He's just average. I know I have a way of making that sound like its better if he was fat or skinny. Oh she's not a bad girl, she not a saint either... She's just average. Average is forever being aached to "mediocre"


For me, I've decided to be positive about my averageness. Especially the ones I can't change (without resorting to the most drastic of measures) like my height, I really always used to wish I was just a few inches taller, then I would be "the tall girl" and then I used to wish I was shorter then I would be "the petite girl" I've decided that I'm "just right" Great height for a girl, cutting off the really short guys (apologies) especially since I'm a sucker for high heeled shoes, yet perfect for a tall guy (insert big grin) besides I'd like to be able to reach the top shelf without needing assistance!


Or the days I wish I was really skinny, or just a bit bigger.... Being skinny as far as I've come to realize has very little advantages (none come to mind right now except maybe being able to squeeze through a really tight space in a Mission Impossible movie?) How about the fact that clothes hardly ever look good on bones.... Besides, have you seen my neck? Let's not even bother with the other extreme.. So again, "just right"


I know what I'm about to say next will appear strange, but we've explained that there's nothing usual or ordinary about this girl... So brace yourself for this weird statement... "I'm not extremely beautiful by any standards and I like it" Why? I hate being objectified..... I hate being looked at like a piece of meat... Oh Lord, it drives me nuts. Don't confuse objectification with appreciation, I'd like to walk by and be appreciated but if all you can think about is "what she would look like with her clothes off" or you can never get past that to my personality... I saw "a friend" I hadn't seen in a while some weeks ago and we got talking, but just as we were to part ways, he asked me to "turn around!". GOD!!! I wanted to die! Like if I was standing right in front of a cliff, there wouldn't be a post today. So I've come to realize that my personality wouldn't go too well with "extreme beauty" (but who knows, maybe I'm just consoling myself.hehehe)


I could go on and on with the various things that would make me average, but I don't need to fit any mould, I rather like being unusual, makes me feel special. Gives me freedom to do whatever and be whatever. Besides someone somewhere will still have something against me somehow, should I care?

 In the words of the amazing India Arie "I'm not the average girl from your video and I ain't built like a super model but I've learned to love myself unconditionally, because I am a QUEEN"

Since God made me this way, then I'm not where near average, I'm PERFECT!


 If folks have complaints about an average person, why would you imagine that you would escape.... skinny or fat, short or tall... you mght as well learn to love yourself, you will definitely be a happier person!

Have a good day y'all!!!
b

A TEAM

Hi everyone,
Its been a minute hasn't it?! Shame on you Debourgeois, shame on you!
I do apologise and I have no excuses. I have 2 posts for each day for a while so I'm sure we'll catch up in no time!


Have you ever thought of the fact that just about everything, even the purest of things, is made up of a number of other smaller things?

The air we breathe has two oxygen atoms, water has two atoms of hydrogen with one oxygen atom!
Hmmm, let me stop there! I think that may be how far my knowledge of chemistry goes.. but you catch my drift don't you?
 And for we foodies, i can t imagine what  a "dish" made of only one ingredient would taste like!


The Good book says "two are better than one" "where one would chase one thousand, two would chase ten thousand" etc etc


Basically, its better to work with a team, as a sports expert (yea right!) I know that even when it appears there is only one player on the court, for instance in tennis, there is still a team in existence, the loss or win of a match depends as much on the player's skill as on the team's strenght! No matter how good the likes of Nadal, Federer, or the Williams sisters are right now, they couldn't have done it on their own without good coaches!


Long story short, you need a team. You can do it on your own, no doubt! You can make lasagna all on your own from scratch, you can prepare fried rice without help. I guarantee you though that it would be faster and easier if you had help, someone chopping the carrots while you dice the pepper or boil the rice. The time it would take you to cook a pot would be split in half leaving time to fry the chicken catch your favourite series or even soak in the tub!


A team enhances your strengths and covers your weaknesses, a striker wouldn't do so well as a defender and vice versa. I even have doubts as to whether a goalie would be a good defender, chances are he'd end up catching the ball with his hands half the time!


Don't be afraid to ask for help and don't be too proud to take help when offered even when its not absoulutely necessary! If we had all day, I'd go into how help is a gift from God to make life smoother! (Which is why I almost always take lifts)


Don't be unwilling to share the glory with teammates, you'll work yourself into an early grave, besides being all work and no play! We all despise a selfish player, who wants to score everytime or make the shot everytime and never thinks to pass the ball.Did I meantion I'm on team work hard,play hard? (I'm always on one team or another! Lol)


Keep an eye out for people who complement you, even if its your vision, you can't do it alone! You need help, you need a team! Find them and graft them in! Just think about it the way Jarod Kintz put it "I love team work, I love the idea of everyone rallying together to help me win"


And in the words of Abiodun Ajewole (yes I am the wise, deal with it) "Teamwork is help. You helping me. Me helping you"

Insert big smile here.
Have a wonderful day!
Hi everyone