HELLO QUIRKYALONE

The first time i came across the word "quirkyalone" was on twitter (if you follow uberfacts, you've probably seen it too) i immediately googled the word and i discovered that is exactly what i am. A QUIRKYALONE. A quirkyalone is a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and prefers being single to dating for the sake of dating. Its not anti love. It is pro love. It is not anti dating, It is anti compulsory dating.



 The concept is founded on the value of loving yourself first(giving yourself approval so you don't need it from others).



 Many times when people ask if I'm in a relationship and i say no, the next question is why? i often reply that i haven't found the right person. They are always quick to insist that I'm too picky, too choosy, looking for Mr perfect. I'm not perfect far from it actually, so why look for Mr perfect? The truth simply is that i believe certain compromises are unacceptable, so just cos every other person is in a relationship should i settle for less, lower my standards, hook up with just anyone? never! Its not like there are days when i feel like "shacking" up with just anyone especially on certain days like Valentine's day and so on, but then i get over it real quick because i know what I'm waiting for.



  In secondary school i had a really close friend, anytime we went to eat she would order plantain, then she would pick out the oddly shaped ones and not eat them. Did that mean she was looking for the perfect plantain? i say no, she just didn't like the other ones.


  Two days ago my friend told me what she had suffered in the hands of her ex boyfriend, for two whole years she endured all the crap he had been dishing out, he would insult her daily, call her fat, an idiot, a cheap girl and all other stuff. He had even beaten as well. True, the guy was 'tall dark and handsome" but was it worth it? When i asked her why she endured all of that, she said she didn't want to "not" be in a relationship and just be single.



  My mum corners me every once in a while to ask me "how far?" and i have to explain all over again that i cant date anyone just to make her happy as much as her happiness means to me. I know who i am, i know what i want, where i want to be . . . . . i am a bit weird, i listen to Owl city, Enya, Cold play, Linkin Park, Skillet, Iron and Wine, Hoobastank, Vertical Horizon . . . . what would i do with someone who only ever wants to listen to "club bangers" who can't understand what rock is? God forbid someone who is indifferent about music! I like to dye my hair red, wine, blond, white .... what would i do with someone who is a stickler for rules and can't allow me express my self the way i want?


  I'd like to see Rome, France, Spain, to travel the world(it is my inheritance afterall) what would i do with someone who is satisfied with earning just enough for a roof over his head and "3 square meals" (i absolutely cant stand complacent people who have no dreams). Even if he is earning only enough to pay electricity bills now, he had better have a bigger vision, as Fela Durotoye once said, "go for a man with a vision, and not a television". lol, cool yeah?



  How about my love for food(as George Bernard Shaw said, "There is no love sincerer than the love of food)  and cooking, i would love to taste the Vietnam delicacy called Goi cuon, how about Gabon's Chicken Muamba and Neapolitan pizza from Italy  etc. . . .   what would i do with someone who has no palate for exotic foods?
Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean these people are bad people or that there is anything wrong with them, they are just not for me. Shikena! (afterall my dad wouldn't eat Salad except his life depended on it, doesn't mean i love him any less)
These are apart from the God fearing, kind hearted, intelligent etc essential requirements. Even in the book of books (The Bible), when Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for his son he gave requirements, he didn't say bring just anyone.



   I did however realise that quirkyalone is not restricted to single people and relationship issue, it could be anything. Some people are so picky in the type of friends they have, if you fail to pass their requirements, you will immediately be shown the door. For some, its the type of food they eat and where they eat, no matter how much you try to convince them otherwise they just ain't buying it.
  

   Have you met tailors who will refuse to sew your clothes or stylists who will refuse to make your hair or make it exactly the way you asked? Its not always because they are lazy, they are just picky in their choice of clientele. 
Just think about it, how come those big designers like Loius Vuitton, Vera Wang, Chanel etc don't just create designs for everyone? Yet they are bigger designers than the ones who make mass clothings.


    Those who pick and choose really do get the best, if they are wise in the choices they make, so its not a bad thing to be a quirkyalone in anyway. Just because everyone else is studying that course, or working in that field, or wearing those clothes, or doing whatever it is they are doing, doesn't mean you have to do it too. I'd rather be alone and unique than one of the crowd.
  


  
   If there are certain things you wouldn't do even if the whole world was doing it, if you wouldn't compromise what you believe you deserve, if you are not a beggar (they say they cant be choosers)  then why feel like or let anyone make you feel like you don't have a choice. Afterall if you paid for six books and the seller gave you two, would you just accept it and walk away? No, you'd speak up and asked for what you deserve and to get your money's worth. if its that simple then why not apply that same principle to other areas of your life? why say its not the same thing? Confucius said "Life is really simple, we just insist on making it complicated"


   So the next time you are being choosy, don't feel bad, and don't let anyone make you feel bad either. That's just the way you were wired. I've heard it said that "the heart wants what the heart wants".If you are getting less than you deserve and you are unsatisfied, then say something, refuse to be that unsatisfied person. . . . . There is a quirkyalone in all of us.