(LOVE YOURSELF SERIES) BEING AVERAGE

I decided to write this series because I have come to understand that loving yourself is the first step in the pursuit of "happyness". you can never be truly happy if you don't love the person you are.... quirks and all.

Being Average

I can see some faces all scrunched up right now.... The mere mention of the word average gets spines straightened and folks sit up! I'm sure someone out there's mantra is "Average is the enemy"

Being a middle child is hard.... Being the middle child with four siblings is harder... Being the middle child who isn't the only, first or last boy or girl.... well, that just sucks! It appears you are doomed to being unexceptional just by virtue of your position in the family (ask me, I know)


But is everything average so bad? Let's be clear, I'm not saying don't aim for excellence or don't aim for the best... I'm all for that, one of my motto's (I have a lot of them) is "I manifest the spirit of Excellence"! So yea!


There are different definitions of avrage, but today I think I'm gonna stick with the Merriam Webster definition. In math, average means " a single value, (mean, mode or median) that summarizes or represents the general significance of a set of unequal values!" That doesn't sound so bad right!


Now think about it, how many times have you described a person as average .... Oh Mr John Doe is not fat, he's not skinny either... He's just average. I know I have a way of making that sound like its better if he was fat or skinny. Oh she's not a bad girl, she not a saint either... She's just average. Average is forever being aached to "mediocre"


For me, I've decided to be positive about my averageness. Especially the ones I can't change (without resorting to the most drastic of measures) like my height, I really always used to wish I was just a few inches taller, then I would be "the tall girl" and then I used to wish I was shorter then I would be "the petite girl" I've decided that I'm "just right" Great height for a girl, cutting off the really short guys (apologies) especially since I'm a sucker for high heeled shoes, yet perfect for a tall guy (insert big grin) besides I'd like to be able to reach the top shelf without needing assistance!


Or the days I wish I was really skinny, or just a bit bigger.... Being skinny as far as I've come to realize has very little advantages (none come to mind right now except maybe being able to squeeze through a really tight space in a Mission Impossible movie?) How about the fact that clothes hardly ever look good on bones.... Besides, have you seen my neck? Let's not even bother with the other extreme.. So again, "just right"


I know what I'm about to say next will appear strange, but we've explained that there's nothing usual or ordinary about this girl... So brace yourself for this weird statement... "I'm not extremely beautiful by any standards and I like it" Why? I hate being objectified..... I hate being looked at like a piece of meat... Oh Lord, it drives me nuts. Don't confuse objectification with appreciation, I'd like to walk by and be appreciated but if all you can think about is "what she would look like with her clothes off" or you can never get past that to my personality... I saw "a friend" I hadn't seen in a while some weeks ago and we got talking, but just as we were to part ways, he asked me to "turn around!". GOD!!! I wanted to die! Like if I was standing right in front of a cliff, there wouldn't be a post today. So I've come to realize that my personality wouldn't go too well with "extreme beauty" (but who knows, maybe I'm just consoling myself.hehehe)


I could go on and on with the various things that would make me average, but I don't need to fit any mould, I rather like being unusual, makes me feel special. Gives me freedom to do whatever and be whatever. Besides someone somewhere will still have something against me somehow, should I care?

 In the words of the amazing India Arie "I'm not the average girl from your video and I ain't built like a super model but I've learned to love myself unconditionally, because I am a QUEEN"

Since God made me this way, then I'm not where near average, I'm PERFECT!


 If folks have complaints about an average person, why would you imagine that you would escape.... skinny or fat, short or tall... you mght as well learn to love yourself, you will definitely be a happier person!

Have a good day y'all!!!
b

A TEAM

Hi everyone,
Its been a minute hasn't it?! Shame on you Debourgeois, shame on you!
I do apologise and I have no excuses. I have 2 posts for each day for a while so I'm sure we'll catch up in no time!


Have you ever thought of the fact that just about everything, even the purest of things, is made up of a number of other smaller things?

The air we breathe has two oxygen atoms, water has two atoms of hydrogen with one oxygen atom!
Hmmm, let me stop there! I think that may be how far my knowledge of chemistry goes.. but you catch my drift don't you?
 And for we foodies, i can t imagine what  a "dish" made of only one ingredient would taste like!


The Good book says "two are better than one" "where one would chase one thousand, two would chase ten thousand" etc etc


Basically, its better to work with a team, as a sports expert (yea right!) I know that even when it appears there is only one player on the court, for instance in tennis, there is still a team in existence, the loss or win of a match depends as much on the player's skill as on the team's strenght! No matter how good the likes of Nadal, Federer, or the Williams sisters are right now, they couldn't have done it on their own without good coaches!


Long story short, you need a team. You can do it on your own, no doubt! You can make lasagna all on your own from scratch, you can prepare fried rice without help. I guarantee you though that it would be faster and easier if you had help, someone chopping the carrots while you dice the pepper or boil the rice. The time it would take you to cook a pot would be split in half leaving time to fry the chicken catch your favourite series or even soak in the tub!


A team enhances your strengths and covers your weaknesses, a striker wouldn't do so well as a defender and vice versa. I even have doubts as to whether a goalie would be a good defender, chances are he'd end up catching the ball with his hands half the time!


Don't be afraid to ask for help and don't be too proud to take help when offered even when its not absoulutely necessary! If we had all day, I'd go into how help is a gift from God to make life smoother! (Which is why I almost always take lifts)


Don't be unwilling to share the glory with teammates, you'll work yourself into an early grave, besides being all work and no play! We all despise a selfish player, who wants to score everytime or make the shot everytime and never thinks to pass the ball.Did I meantion I'm on team work hard,play hard? (I'm always on one team or another! Lol)


Keep an eye out for people who complement you, even if its your vision, you can't do it alone! You need help, you need a team! Find them and graft them in! Just think about it the way Jarod Kintz put it "I love team work, I love the idea of everyone rallying together to help me win"


And in the words of Abiodun Ajewole (yes I am the wise, deal with it) "Teamwork is help. You helping me. Me helping you"

Insert big smile here.
Have a wonderful day!
Hi everyone

MUSIC REVIEW

SIFER
HEY BABE

I received the link to listen to this song a week or two ago, but i wasn't too interested. As far as I knew it would just be another badly produced song with no quality whatsoever, in terms of lyrics especially.


Fortunately for me though, at some point yesterday I clicked on the link without even intending to, about a minute later I heard this sound and I traced it to my phone. Alas, it was the link I had received a while back ....... I was pleasantly surprised.


For some of us who love music, we've been a little bit discontent with the quality of rap music in Nigeria, I mean MI is indeed incredible, Ice Prince is aight, and hey do we even need to bother with the genius that is Jesse Jagz? but asides these guys and one or two more there's really been no fresh face in the rap "game" for a while.


Well, that was then. It is with a big smile and loads of excitement that I introduce you to the next big thing in Nigerian music, (if his single Hey Babe is anything to go by) Sifer. For a young dude without a record label and all the perks that come with it, Hey Babe is a bit of a surprise, the quality of the production is really really good.


Usually with rap songs, at first listen, its one of two things, you either get stuck on the beat if its really good (like Jayz's Forever Young, it took me ages and ages to get to the words cos the beat was so good) or you only listen to the words cos the vocal strenght of the rapper plus his choice of words and rhymes hit you head on. Hey Babe however is one of those rap songs that at first listen (at least for me) you find yourself both enjoying the beat /instrument coordination at the background and at the same time you follow the lyrics.


You can't help but wanna listen to this song over and over, I know its been on replay since yesterday, I can't say I've listened to any other song since my first taste of the song.
The laid back flow, well arranged lyrics, ease of transition from one point in the song to another plus the rapper's voice and the beat are just too awesome to be ignored. It's quite possible that another rapper would have been able to blend with the beat/instrumental, might have been too harsh or too soft but Sifer's tone was just right!


Borrowing a line from the song itself, this song has "gotta blow up, dropping land mines".
I'm reminded of MI in his first days with Crowd Mentality and some of his earlier songs, not to say this is anywhere similar to that, (Sifer is giving a "holla" at his "queen B" cos he's a "young Hov") just a reminder of how he started off.


I'm rating this one a sexy 8.


To listen to the song and download click on the link http://hu.lk/5ar00owukclc or download it here https://m.box.com/view_shared/upjxl093tc9v011nwtrn . Don't say I didn't warn you, you'll definitely find yourself leaving it on repeat.....


Leave a comment, let me know what you think about the song, and what you would rate it. I'm sure the artist would appreciate the feedback

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?3

 

 

 

 

 

I'm sure this is a wedding scene from a movie! Or what else could possibly be going on here?


Send your funny photos to abnefertiti@gmail.com and we'll upload them here.

A CAGE OF THEIR MIND

Everyone has an opinion. As a matter of fact, we are all entitled to at least one. I wonder how dull it would be if everyone thought the same, no one had an original thought in their head........ Extremely boring no doubt.


     It is our opinions that eventually inform our decisions, even the mundane things like what to wear on what day of the week. I have no qualms with personal opinions informing personal decisions. What I do have a problem with is shoving one's opinion down another's throat. Simply because you think your way is right for you doesn't make it right for someone else.

    
      We usually have a mould we expect people to fit into, to dress a certain way, look a certain way, never go beyond certain borders , and when they don't it becomes a problem. That person becomes an outcast.


     People are entitled to their idiosyncrasies, their expression of who they are, as long as it doesn't encroach on your rights or anyone else's, it really shouldn't matter. So what if your neighbour decides to cut her hair and dye it blue? or decides to pierce her nose. How does that affect the price of the blackberry Z10? And what does if matter if some guy in your neighbourhood gets a massive tattoo, as long as it doesn't magically appear on your skin, should you be bothered?


       People will be quick to say don't do this or don't do that, all because it doesn't fall within their definition of normal. For me conforming to the everyday norms is just boring and usually a sign of weakness, of fear. Fear to step out of the cage of conformity because then people will look at you like you are strange or weird..... I like strange, I like weird. Life's more fun that way. Life's too short to be trapped in a cage of someone else's mind.


    Explore the craziest recesses of your mind, decide who you are. Don't just go with the flow; the crowd is isn't always going in the right direction.