THE THING TO DO

Everyday we make choices, what time to get out of bed, a choice on what to wear, what to eat...... Simple everyday choices.


Then there are those choices we don't make as often, what electives to take in school, who to vote for in an election, where to have the next vacation......


Another class of choices include who to allow into our circle of friends, who to marry, our mentors.....

Mostly conscious choices...... some you reach only after weeks and months of debate, of weighing the pros and cons. Sometimes independently, sometimes as a group or unit.


The other day I was in a bus and I had paid my fare waiting for my balance. On receiving my balance I called the conductor's attention back because I felt he had given me 20naira extra on my balance, it was then I realised that I was wrong, that was the exact balance.


The person sitting next to me said "so if it was his 20 naira, that's how you would have given him truly. Do you think if it was yours he would be in such a hurry to return it to you?" I just smiled and said nothing(I hate having conversations with strange guys in the bus)


I did consider later what the guy said, that the conductor wouldn't have been so quick to return the extra but that wasn't my concern. Not because I was the most honest of people, it was merely the right thing to do.



We sometimes make wrong choices because we allow other people's possible or perceived choices, if faced with the same scenario, to affect ours. We think, if it was the other way around, what would he have done, what would she have said.......


I once heard a story of a soldier who on making it past enemy lines, realised his friend was still trapped behind enemy lines. He went back alone in search of his friend and both made it out alive. Barely. His friend confessed to him years later that if positions were reversed, he wouldn't have returned for him. The soldier replied that he knew. His friend was shocked and asked why he did it anyway, he said it was because he was confident that he would be able to make it back alive even if he returned. To return for him therefore was not based upon what would have happened if he had been the one trapped but on his ability to make it back in one piece!


Whoa! The soldier made a choice to save his friend knowing his friend would not have done the same.The day after I heard the story, I was heading to my house when I saw my neighbour's recently washed clothes on the floor, I honestly did not want to pick them up because I knew he would have merely walked on by, then I flashed back to the story and asked myself what the right thing was? It was to pick up his clothes and put them back on the line, so that's what I did. I walked back and did the right thing (even though I was really annoyed)

Choices should never be about what the other person would have done, it should be about the right thing to do.

 

THE RIGHT ATTITUDE

The cliche's on attitude abound. For me, they are downright annoying; attitude determines your altitude, attitude = 100  yada yada yada

Many times I think those lines are just ways the Zig Ziglars and those other motivational speakers get us to buy their  books and pay to listen to their seminars.

However, I learnt differently these past weeks. As a law student who sometimes wonders why she is studying law at all, I have days when school is the last place I want to be. I'd really rather just sleep. A few weeks ago I cast my mind back to a statement an old teacher made to me, "anything worth doing is worth doing well".


I decided, hey, I've come this far already, might as well "put my back into it". My strategy; a change of attitude.  I decided to wake up on every school morning with the attitude of someone going to pick up a check for a million bucks.


What a dramatic change!


I not only had more energy, I became more excited than ever before about school. The amazing thing also was that, not only did I feel better, I apparently looked better. The first time I tried this new attitude thingy, I remember my brother dropping me off at the busstop with me brushing my hair in the car and doing a rush job of applying some makeup. So, under normal circumstances, it wasn't a day when I felt I was looking my best. Surprisingly though, all my friends said I looked really good, hot even!
The very wise Dalai Lama said

"It is very importanat to generate a good attitude as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come"

That gave me a whole new perspective on having the right attitude. I believe the same can be applied to any endeavor whtsoever one sets upon. Work for instance, even if you absolutely hate the job, as long as you are stuck there and haven't gotten your dream job, get a new attitude. Find a new reason to be excited about going to work each day, asides the fact that you get paid. As Maya Angelou said

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude"

Whenever not so great things happen to me, I always have this attitude of "it happened for a reason, here's a chance to learn for tomorrow" and stuff like that. It dawned on me that possibly that's one of the reasons I'm never depressed or hardly unhappy. I always find a way to see a bright light in any dark situation. It just might be one of my biggest flaws but I choose to see it instead as me having the right attitude.

Thinking back to the first time I wrote an entrance examination for the university, I passed the exam, even passed the cut off by miles, but I had not entered some other information(not due to any fault of mine) and that disqualified me. I was extremely unhappy, inconsolable even because I felt it was unfair and I had been cheated. Then I thought to myself that who knows what would have happened if I had gained the admission, I might have been involved in an accident on my way to classes or some other bad thing might have happened. I realise now that I had simply decided to see the positive in a negative situation.

"You cannot control what happens to you, rather you can control your attitude towards whatever happens to you, and in that you will be mastering change than allowing it to master you" Brian Tracy

Turns out those motivational speakers weren't messing with us whenever they'd emphasize the importance of having the right attitude. The difference in being happy or sad, satisfied or discontent,is really in having a positive or negative attitude.

LITTLE THINGS (PART 2) CONSEQUENCE

Finally, I decided to complete the little things series....... but I just might revisit it sometime soon. Again!

Let me begin with a quote

 "What we call the little things are merely the causes of great things, they are the beginning, the embryo ....... A black speck may be the beginning of a gangrene, of a storm ....."

A few months ago my phone was stolen, out of the bag I was carrying. How come? I didn't close the zip (the reason I didn't is a story for another day)


One time I had this really cute cream and brown bag, I forgot a piece of cake in it overnight and by the next day rats had eaten their way through the bag to get to the cake. The bag was ruined!!!


Imagine this, you bought a new TV set: flat screen, LED, 3D, 110 cool inches bla bla bla, then after taking the time to read the manual you chose to ignore the fact that you would need a stabiliser. Pray Heaven forbids high voltage (especially if you live in Nigeria)


Or say, the brake fluid of your car leaks a little bit everyday and you decide it isn't a big deal....... to that, I call the words of Benjamin Franklin " A small leak can sink a great ship"


You are dating a guy who almost seems perfect except for the fact that he has no control over his temper and ever so often he screams at you at the top of his voice even when he ought to have let it go. Sweetheart, ignore it if you choose, but I see a black eye and broken nose in your future.


I saw the movie Contagion a few nights ago, it was about a new disease that had begun to spread at such an alarming rate that the whole world was gripped in fear, the best scientists in the world could not trace the roots of the virus. Lots of people died and serious money was spent before a vaccine was created. At the end of the movie we discovered that the virus was from a pig, a chef had touched it, didn't wash his hands, shook the hands of a lady ..... that marked day one of the existence of the virus.

All this happened because the chef failed to wash his hands. Amazing!




Choosing to ignore or failing to pay attention, to the little things will cause you to lose big things or suffer great loss.



I'll just end here with what Barton Bruce said

"Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things"

THANK YOU

I mentioned as part of my new year resolutions, being thankful. That's exactly what I want to do, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been a part of this blog, one way or another.  Its a long list so I better get to it.......

MR AND MRS AJEWOLE, you pay for Internet.... When it boils right down to it, that's  primary.


OLANREWAJU AJEWOLE, you are a brother indeed. no one has been of greater support to me than you, always posting my blog posts on bbm, facebook and anywhere possible. three gbosa for you ma men!


ABIOLA AJEWOLE, the naughty girl I call sis, you support me without words. Don't think I am unaware oo. I see you wella


TOLU DARAMOLA, truth be told I started writing again because of how often you harass me about my blog. I hereby adopt you as a brother!
 

BUKOLA AJEWOLE, big sis, a silent supporter..........


TUNDE LAWAL aka Sir Teelaw, you made me the 4th musketeer


KIME AMOS, i was shocked when you mentioned how often you return to the blog hoping for a new post.


OLAJIDE AJOSE, for all the times you asked about my blog.


OLUCHI UZOMA, Lulu. You harass me about this blog every chance you get.


VANESSA, queen vee, just because you always leave a comment........


MICHEAL ZUOKEMEFA, well done mikelo, my sure paddy


JIDE aka Purkin Jay, you just might have set the ball rolling


KUNLE KESHINRO, you are too cool, you ask about this blog always


SEUN ADETITUN, for the contacts and always being willing to help


AJUA YANKEY, you jumped on a bike with me to go see ID Cabasa


ONONIKPO JENNIFER, i no longer call you friend, i call you sister. You always come through even when you think I am just being lazy. You don't know what you do for me


OLAOTAN AMOSU, you said you saw talent.......



MBANEKWU MERCY, for the pillar that you are



VICTOR EDIALE aka Baba Dudu, thank you




WILLIAMS ZINO, a friend to cherish. You helped even though you weren't sure what I was doing



TOLU aka Swaggertolz, you helped publicize this blog



FOYINSOLA AGUDA......


AGBANI WHYRE, for so much effort and the many contacts

Because you believe in me, I stand tall. I won't let you down

And to

PAUL ADE MARTINS, mr marco martinez. You endured my questions and the further questions.
If all the famous guys were like you..........


I.D CABASA, you allowed the honour of getting to know you. Without any hassles


RUBY GYANG, i have no words.........


TOSIN BUCKNOR aka toptosyn aka Area mama, you were my first interview, you didn't even know me


MO CHEDDAH, for your quick response

To the ANONYMOUS(ES) who leave those cool comments, we are together!

I really could go on and on and on and on and on and on......... Big shoutout to everyone who supports this blog even without me knowing it. I pray you receive support in everything you do and everywhere you go.

DEBOURGEOIS is by no means where it is going, not even close........ not by a long shot. But you guys are the oil in the wheel.

Thanks for taking the time to even read the posts, somedays I'm not sure I make sense but y'all get it.

If you are visiting this blog for the first time, welcome. I appreciate you  a lot.

If you don't have a support group, (in the words of Jay Z), I feel bad for you son. Some of these folks form a huge part of my support group, they keep me going and sometimes have to kick me in the backside to get me moving. These guys may not know my dreams, my hopes, my aspirations, but they wanna make sure I get wherever I am going! What more could a girl ask for?!


DEBOURGEOIS says a big thank you to you all. Its another year, lets do it again.

YES WE CAN!!!

THIS NEW YEAR

Happy new year everyone, i am super excited to be writing again, after taking such a long break.

I do love the idea of a fresh start, a new page, a chance to do it again . . . .  that's why i sometimes call the new year A RE BEGINNING. For me, the new year is always an opportunity to say to myself " do it again"

Another cool thing about the new year is that, because its a fresh page, it has lots of lines to write on, so when you find at the end of a line, that a mistake was made, you cancel and go to the next line.

I asked a friend yesterday if he had any new year resolutions, and he just smirked like i was being silly. so i told him i understood why he thought that was funny, no one makes resolutions anymore, they are old school and since people realised they are never able to do or not do whatever the resolution was, we all stopped making them. Then I asked a different question, I asked if he had any specific goals for the year, any targets he had set etc and he said yes. Then I asked again if he had new year resolutions and he said yes.

A resolution is really nothing more than having a resolve to do something, a firm determination for something to be done!


I would be worried if i knew anyone who has decided to let the year pass without doing something different or something better than last year. Short of someone wiping your slate clean and turning back the hands of time, the new year is one of the best opportunities to start afresh.


I have a number of "resolutions", small things really but its a decision nevertheless. Stuff like praying a bit more, doing one nice thing for someone everyday(i am proud to say i have kept this one so far), appreciating the people and things i have.......


Did i leave out exercising?


The one thing though about resolutions is that they involve an action. TO DO, you will hardly come across a definition of the word, at least in this sense, without to do, to be done, a plan to do etc showing up!


What I've realised is that we make these resolutions and literally leave them where they drop! Without any action; any conscious, preplanned course of action, resolutions are no different from making wishes. It won't do you any good.


So I know some folks(like me) have been making the same resolutions over and over again, we even decided not to call them resolutions again. I mean that's redundant. But truly a spade by any other name is still a spade, so lets just call a spade, a spade!

Last year your new year resolution was to stop smoking, and you did.
For the first four days. After that you just forgot about it and continued as usual.

One thing I've come to realise is that good things, most times, don't come easy but we give up too easily.  Forming a bad habit is probably one of the easiest things to do, forming a good one or leaving a bad one is hard.

Some resolutions are solo efforts, where you require no external assistance. Some aren't. Those ones simply cannot be done alone, without a support group (could be just one person) it might be impossible to achieve. What do you imagine AA(ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS) aims to achieve.

I always tell my "smoker" friends to stop hanging out with fellow smokers if they really want to quit, and hang out with folks who don't, but that seems like a crazy idea!

I mentioned being grateful as one of my new year resolutions and i couldn't think of a better way to be reminded of that decision than to see it everyday on my blackberry (and i look at my blackberry a lot). My status on BBM says ABOUNDING IN THANKSGIVING, each time i see that i think of a reason to be thankful and so far its working. Not so crazy, very simple really but effective nonetheless.


My point is, to achieve whatever you set out to do this year, you need to do something different from what you had done previously or to do something better than you had done before. It might be something totally crazy or something extremely simple but something must be done!


I put it to you(debate language) that the simple formula for achieving that new year resolution is
A PLAN (SOMETHING DIFFERENT or SOMETHING BETTER) + A CONSTANT REMINDER . Some formulae might even include A SUPPORT GROUP

It won't be easy, I imagine there will be days i feel like there is no reason to be thankful or I'm not feeling particularly nice, but I will keep at it. Even if I missed out for a while, I will "do it again"

So, if you are like me and have a new year resolution, to quit smoking, to get out of an abusive relationship, to get a new job, to pray more.......... whatever it is, keep at it and when you didn't, do it again. Its like saying, oh I didn't write in my diary for the past week so I won't bother writing again! That's just ridiculous.


Have any new year resolutions to share, or the craziest resolutions you've ever made? Leave me a comment!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!