WHO IS A FRIEND? part 1

There are so many definitions of the word friend in the various dictionaries, i especially like the definitions in the free online dictionary and wikipedia. I chose to combine both parts of the definition thus

 "A friend is a person whom one KNOWS, LIKES and TRUSTS and with whom one has a bond of MUTUAL AFFECTION"
 

For me this are all the characteristics of friendship.


1)A friend is someone you know. There are certain things a person must know about the other before they can be called friends, I'm not talking about mere on the surface stuff like their educational qualifications, the number of siblings they have, their state of origin etc its things like their opinion on certain topics, their attitude towards a thing, their behavioural traits, their strenghts and weaknesses

 "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same" Elbert Hubbard

I have a friend who has extremely radical views on the issue of abortion, boy-girl relationships and the likes, I have a friend who is always late, as a matter of fact, to get her to be  on time for an event, you probably have to tell her its 2hours earlier.... I have friends who know my favourite part of chicken


2) A friend is someone you like. Honestly, I can't imagine anyone being friends with someone they can't stand, whose every action gets on their nerves. Its not as though there are no sides to a friend that don't get you frustrated, but the likable and agreeable must exceed the unlikeable and disagreeable.


3)Trust is an essential part of friendship. A friend is someone whom you can trust, any day of the week. Someone who you know would never hurt you intentionally, would never say bad things behind your back, who would never go all out to "snatch' your boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband.... It really amazes me when I hear stories of how a person's "best friend" "snatched" their fiance. I guess that's why some folks hide their relationships from their so called close friends, cos deep down you know they can't be trusted.

I saw an episode of Mtv's Disaster Date sometime ago, Pauly D and had set Deena (casts of Jersey Shore) up with this horrible guy and although she was upset, when the guy said some nasty things about him, she was quick to jump to his defence, that he would never say or do such things. I thought wow, here's friendship!



4)Friendship is never one sided, there has to be mutual affection for it to exist. The best stories of friendship in the world are the ones where both sides feel the same way about one another. David and Jonathan for instance, their friendship was definitely one that should teach what true friendship means. Jonathan was willing to against his father to protect his friend, and at the time of Jonathan's death, David mourned and declared a period of mourning in the land for his departed friend. I'm sure when Aristotle  was asked "who is a friend"and replied "a single soul dwelling in two bodies", he meant these guys.



My favourite character in Lord of The Rings is Samwise Gamgee, Frodo's gardner and later friend who was saddled with the responsibility of ensuring Frodo's mission was successful. If he had at anytime turned his back on Frodo, the mission would have gone downhill, I remember one scene where even though he was hungry he gave his food to Frodo, he even had to carry him at one point. AWESOME!
You might say its just a story, but I like it.


I saw an episode of Scare Tactics (i watch way too much TV!) and a girl had set up her friend in a place where apparently there was a killer on the loose. She saw her friend tied up and the guy was about to chop off her head, she pleaded with the guy and so he gave her an option of taking her friend's place...... and without taking a beat she said yes. This was true life and she didn't know she was on camera. "what greater love exists than that one should lay his life down for his friends"


I don't know if I have friends that could do the same when faced with similar circumstances and I don't know if I would be bold enough to do so either but I certainly hope I would.