Friday 25 October 2013

THE HUMAN FACTOR

 Hey beautiful people, TGIF right?! We've all been looking forward to this weekend, I know I have. As someone I know would say "How dey go, dey go?". Hope you guys  have been good since I've been away! No naughty business.........

Let me start today's post by saying that I'm really upset with all these people who make the most amazing movies, they've ruined our perception on many things. Movies have so influenced us that we've come to expect what happens in movies born out of someone's imagination to be our own reality. movies or series (which I'm addicted to) have become the yard stick with which we measure ourselves, others and the world in general. Before you think I'm a movie hater or one of those puritans of the Augustan era who were against all forms of entertainment, I'm not. In fact, if you watch MTV you'll remember an old advert of theirs which had a slogan "Never give up your M". I'm just like that, I'll  never give up my M be it Music, my MUM or Movies!

It's just that real life is so far removed from what we see in these movies, friends aren't as great as those ones in Sex and the City.... relationships don't always work out like in the telenovellas, the bad guy doesn't always die, in fact when one dies another one springs up, they are like weed! The shy, good girl doesn't always get the handsome, popular jock like in the Disney movies. The only part I'm sure is true is what they tell us in all these end of the world movies, Africa doesn't get destroyed! No, think about it...... You remember 2012? Day After  Tomorrow etc nothing happens to Africa because everyone would get wiped off, there are no emergency services just for a fire outbreak..... imagine what would happen if the heavens started raining Fire and Brimstone! No, God is merciful, He knows there is hardly any hope in such a situation so He won't let that happen.

Oops, did I digress?


Anyway, back to the matter! People are just that. People. They aren't perfect, they will let you down, break your heart, betray you..... in MJ's words "Its Human Nature" to expect otherwise would be foolishness. They don't do it because they derive pleasure from all doing these things (though there are those whose hearts are blackened, they are of a different class entirely) but it just so happens that we aren't superheroes, we can be selfish creatures and are sometimes held captive by situations and circumstances! I always use this example, say someone promised 100 grand to pay your rent due on the 29th, the failure to pay would cause your landlord to evict you from your home. Morning of the 29th you call Mr promise but after several rings without a response; you send a text "Good morning sir, how was your night and how is the family? hope well, if so thanks be to God. Please sir, i hope you have not forgotten your promise to send me some money to pay my rent. and as explained my landlord has given us today as the last day to pay. I will be expecting something from you sir. May God bless you and reward you richly. thank you"
 (Lol, see the phrasing of that text. Isn't that the way you would send it?)


Long story short you never got a response from Mr Promise, via text, call or bank alert! He let you down. What's the first things that pops into your mind? He never intended to help anyway" Right?


Maybe right, maybe wrong!


Here are a couple of scenarios,
 Mr Promise was expecting a cheque from one of his debtors who had sworn to pay on the 28th, this Mr Debtor never sent the cheque and all atemps to reach him failed even till the following week and it was out of this money Mr Promise was going to send the money to Mr Can't Pay His Rent (Henceforth referred to as Mr CPHR)


Mr Promise being a good husband told his wife of his intention to give 100 grand to Mr CPHR and wifey says "what, which money? Lai Lai, what of the money you've been promising to send to mama in the village, so my mother is not important abi?" All attempts to convince her otherwise failed so because Mr Promise would rather have peace at home, he diverts the money to mama's account

Mr Promise, got wind of a super deal which would end on the 29th and being the sharp businessman that he is, sent all his available funds to China so he would be able to get in on that deal and have his goods shipped in from which he would make 500 percent profit!

Its also possible Mr Promise woke up and had a sharp pain in his right side, he was immediately rushed to the hospital where it was discovered that his appendix had ruptured, of course he was in surgery so he couldnt pick up his phone or reply any text messages.


And then maybe Mr Promise is just one of those wealthy people who would rather spend their money on a good time than help a dying man with a drop of water!


Either way it happened, Mr CPHR is screwed, he has been booted to the streets and as human beings we'll jump to the conclusion that Mr Promise is a wicked man.


Its the same in many other areas of human interaction, we are subject to our environment many times and may be unable to do anything to change what is or how things turn out. Doesn't mean we are evil.


People are bound to let you down, if I promised to come pay you a visit and then my car broke down right outside my gate or worse; my in-laws chose that day to come visit, what do I do?


I'm not so pessimistic as to say abandon hope in humans, infact I believe strongly in the human nature. Man has the potential and the ability to do great and amazing things. I'm only saying leave room for the "human factor" which will most times explain the "why"


The minute you understand that the only one who won't let you down is God, then all will be well. We do know as the Good Book has said "God is not a man" he is not subject to the things we are.You will begin to see things differently, be less disappointed or disillusioned.....

It will be easier to let things go! And when you are able to do that, you'll have a happier life!


Have yourselves a good weekend people. "Let the good times roll"

Wednesday 10 July 2013

NEGATIVE ENERGY



"A complainer is like a Death-Eater, there is a suction on negative energy" Barbara Corcoran
If you are wondering who Death-Eater's are, you are one of those people who don't watch movies... You are beyond my reach... I can offer no assistance

Death Eaters are bad enough, Dementors are on another level....
here's how Lipin described them to Harry "Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."

I dare say Dementors are possibly the scariest creatures ever, after my first "contact" with them, I didn't sleep too well for a little while, and from someone like me who prides herself in being able to watch horror movies without flinching.... that says a lot.


Far as I can tell, negative people are the closest to Dementors, only difference is that they don't "feed off human happiness" and don't seem to be essentially evil....

Ok Ok. Don't crucify me, comparing anyone to a Dementor may be taking it to the extreme, I just saw a lot of similarities in them!

There's enough negativity from one person alone without allowing others the opportunity of adding to it.

I'm mostly an optimist but I have random bursts of pessimism. Days when I can clearly see the sun in the morning but I'm convinced it will rain and so I don't do any laundry, days when even though I've done well in an exam, I manage to convince myself the lecturer is just evil and so the results won't reflect my hard work.....

Now imagine, someone echoing your negative thoughts, increasing scenarios of how everything will go wrong, assuring you that nothing good will happen...

Truth is, these people usually don't mean anything by it and they are just expressing their honest opinions from their perspective.... It becomes your choice whether or not you want to allow them take up space in your mind with their negative words.


I know some people who have the worst imaginations ever... If you let your guard down for a minute, your thoughts will be invaded by their negative words. Some girls are absolutely convinced that all men are unfaithful, can't be trusted, have no heart.... And some guys have the same feelings about women. If you hang around them long enough you will believe them. They have stories of how sososo's wife cheated on him and how he really wasn't the father of her two kids, of how Mrs Somebody's husband left her for her own cousin after four children and even booted them out of the house.

How about those people who are so disillusioned on the issue of wealth and prosperity, they see a car (I'm not talking just about a good or acceptable car. I'm talking "perfect will" kind) and they either say the person is a "yahoo yahoo boy", "a ritualist" or "a corrupt politician". Apparently these ones don't believe you can have a good job or business that pays in the millions, they have never heard of multinational companies where some top level employees earn as much as 50million per annum!


"Anyone that's negative shouldn't be a part of your life. Fill your life with people who can be positive and uplift you, people who have good positive energy".


Let's be realistic, there is no way you can completely separate yourself from some of these negative people, they share your office space, they are your siblings who live in the same house with you, could even be your parents... So do you cut them off completely?

I don't think so, I do one of two things, I change the topic or walk away. I can't begin to count how many times I've said .... "Anyway" (that usually means enough of that topic, I'm no longer interested, moving on!) the minute I no longer feel "edified" when conversing with a person.

Have you ever been in a bus, on a one hour journey and all the passengers seem to have made a pact to moan about all that's wrong with the country.... If you allow yourself to listen and digest all that negativity, you end up feeling bad or upset, let down and disillusioned... Major shout out to the inventor of the ear piece/headset, in the words of Chris Brown " turn up the music, turn it up louder" or read a book. Do whatever it takes to shut your mind from all that negativity.

Negativity steals happiness, it takes the sunshine and replaces it with dark clouds.....

Protect your happiness at all costs, guard against people who have a negative influence on your life!

Have a wonderful day!


Friday 5 July 2013

ALL IN THE MIND


I woke up this morning extremely hungry so forgive me if I'm not too coherent. I'm not one of those super people who can function on an empty stomach....

First, I'd like to recommend Muyiwa Ademola's radio program, its a program that I'd encourage everyone to listen to, I just got on that train myself and so far its made my mornings infinitely more inspiring leading to a more productive day.

I know a young lady who is no doubt good looking but in my opinion she's not the tastiest looking cookie in the jar. However, there is no way you can convince her that there is anyone more beautiful, if you tell her your girlfriend is pretty, she'll be quick to assure you that she's prettier. Tell her about a cute girl you saw, she'll tell you she's cuter.

I used to just roll my eyes and release a deep sigh whenever she would go and on about how gorgeous she was but I realize that that was her reality and it did work for her. There is an instance I will never forget, we were all dressed up to go out one day and by all standards she was the worst dressed, I can't even begin to go into how bad .... On a scale of one to ten, I'd give it a minus three

So we arrived at our destination, and as usual I found the darkest corner, folded my arms to "observe". Before my very eyes I saw guy after guy after guy walk up to this girl and those that didn't have the spine to do so all had eyes on her... What?!

Years later it dawned on me that what your mind believes, becomes the reality. It might take a minute but it will eventually translate to what can be seen by everyone. Simply because she was convinced then there was a manifestation.

I've always wondered why anytime I made a specific hairstyle or decided to buy a new gadget, I'd start seeing it everywhere by the dozens. Some weeks ago, there was a wedding in my old neighborhood and the "aso ebi" was purple and suddenly it appeared everyone I saw that day was wearing purple, I thought it was just me till my friend commented on it.


The mind is an extremely powerful tool, use it. The Good book says ".... transform yourself by the renewing of you mind..." Decide what you want as your reality and watch it happen!

The mind is everything, what you think you become" - Buddha

Start convincing yourself that you are successful, confident, good looking, smart... And it will manifest!

Have yourselves a blessed weekend!

Thursday 4 July 2013

May Your Life Be Full


Yesterday I received news of the death of one of Nigeria's biggest make up artist, Adenike Ogungbe, AKA Ewar... I had never met her in person but we had correspondence via email and we had a mutual close contact. I was heartbroken, the circumstances that led to her death had goose bumps breaking out all over my skin. She died after childbirth. Apparently she had been trying for a while to have a baby and just when she did.... I have no doubt that for her family and friends, this must be bittersweet news.

Her life was short by many standards (she was only 32)  but it was full and that's what counts. She touched lives, was a giver, went places, met people, left a legacy and now a child... a piece of her. May her soul rest in peace.  Condolences to her family and friends, may the good Lord grant you the fortitude to bear the loss.

I'm always forced to sit and take a look at my life when I hear of the death of any person, especially one whose life was full. Life is short, even if you live to be a hundred, its still short. There will always be things to do, places to go, experiences to suffer or enjoy.... its best to cram in as much as you can with the little time we have.

I spend too much time indoors, though I have a great love for the outdoors so I'm set to remedy that, I'd hate to flash back over my life and find I spent all my time planning to do things rather than do them.

I hope I get to go mountain climbing one day (hopefully before I'm seventy) although I never want to go bungee jumping.

 As much as I can be, I'm gonna be spontaneous, and just do it! In light of this, I'm off to catch a movie today, Man of Steel maybe.

And since I like languages so much, I start chinese classes in a few weeks. Yaay me!

I dare you to live a full life, not just with the usual stuff but to have new experiences and try new things. I'll never forget the first time I went to a chinese restaurant, needless to say it was an interesting experience!

Yěxǔ nǐ de shēnghuó chōngmǎn!

WHY SO SERIOUS? (LOVE YOURSELF SERIES)


Laughter is a reflection of not only happiness but of joy. Its been scientifically proven that it reduces the chances of cardiac arrest and some other medical conditions.
It is one of the cheapest drugs available and I'm proud to say I'm an addict. In the words of Lord Byron, "Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine"

Most people take themselves way too seriously to laugh, they are constantly frowning, constantly bitter, always upset....

Its important to find humor in even the craziest of situations especially when they are temporal.

Being the extremely clumsy klutz that I am, some months ago, I was in a bus(my porshe panamera hasn't arrived) and as I was about to step out, I felt something pull on my best linen pants, I just knew it was torn. I had a feeling a little bit of my backside would be hanging out... And it was! I kept grinning like a fool, cos there was nothing to do about it. I got home and ended up laughing about it with my folks,I'm laughing right now.

I did say that was my favorite pair of pants, so I haven't thrown it away even though I know I'll never wear it again.
"To truly laugh you must be able to take your pain and play with it" Charlie Chaplin

 "If you can't make it better, laugh at it" Emma Bombeck. 
So, anytime I look at it, I start laughing all over again at how I must have flashed a small population of lagos...

I'm forever laughing at myself, the fact that I left home with blush only on one side of my face, or I got to class and apparently my hair was pointing in six different directions.... Besides I heard that if you can't laugh at yourself, you aren't allowed to laugh at others! And boy do I like to laugh at people,if you spend a week with me and my family, you are likely to come to one of two conclusions; that we are the happiest bunch of people or we are all clinically insane?!

Feel free to laugh at yourself as often as you can, no one will charge you a dime. Being overly self conscious gets you frustrated, anxious, worried and regretful; not to talk of boring and a sourpuss, life is too short so let yourself go, see the funny in situations, smile, giggle, laugh, then do it again... Its an expression of happiness, and when you are confident enough to laugh at yourself its an expression of self love!
"Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously."

And if you find you can't laugh at yourself, call me, (you know me now) I'll laugh at you for you! Have a funny day people!
I'd really like to know some of the funniest things you've done or that have happened to you. So leave a comment.
And big shout out to Tejiri Okene, one of the funniest girls I know, she thinks it no robbery to laugh at other people as much as she laughs at herself! Love Love Love